Meet Johnny Elsasser of Awendaw

Today we’d like to introduce you to Johnny Elsasser.

Hi Johnny, we’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
It all starts around 17 years old. I was a great high school soccer player, having played for the best team in California at 48-0. It was my senior year, and even though I was great at soccer, I had done nothing to prepare for going to college. I remember walking out into our school quad, where everyone would hang out for breaks and lunch, looking around and seeing that all of my friends were coming in holding pieces of paper. After I spoke with a couple of friends and found out what everyone had in their hands, I realized I had failed to do something pivotal for the next step in my development: prepare for college. Everyone had acceptance letters from the schools they were accepted to, and I was sitting there not knowing what I would do after high school. I had come from a blue-collar family; my mom was an assistant for an accounting firm, and my father was a mechanic spending most of his free time, when not at his job for Toyota, working on cars in our garage and driveway. No one attended college or succeeded there, so preparing me wasn’t their strong suit. Couple that with my parent’s divorce just a short year or so before that, and I was left to figure some things out on my own.

At this time, it was 2004, and we were hot in the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. I had no concept of all that but knew I wanted to do something after high school, and sitting in my hometown wasn’t one of them. So, I stumbled into an Army recruiting office and began my journey to the U.S. military. Because of my athletic ability and the fact that I had been working out since I was 16, I was able to set myself apart in basic training, where a drill sergeant of mine came up and asked me what kind of contract I wanted. What he meant was, what specialty did I want to embark on? He offered Special Forces, Rangers, Snipers, Reconnaissance, and anything else because he felt I would be good enough to make it. So, I took Rangers. The next day, he came back with a contract for me to go to Airborne School and then to the Ranger Indoctrination Program (RIP) at the time, which had an attrition rate of over 75%, as did most of the other special operations occupations like Special Forces, SEALs, Force Recon, amongst others. It wasn’t easy to get in, but I had something on my side: the blue-collar grit I grew up with.

In February 2005, I officially passed RIP and made it to the 2nd Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment, known as 2/75. In a few short, grueling months of nonstop training, I sat in northern Iraq, embarking on my first of four combat tours. It was eye-opening, and at 18, I had to grow up a lot to be in this special operations unit. I excelled in the Ranger Battalion, reaching the level of Sergeant at 20 years old and leading a squad into combat. It took a lot of work and trial and error, but I became a leader at a young age and was instilled with a ton of discipline, integrity, strength, and leadership. As my enlistment came up, I decided I wanted to get out of the military and explore private protection with some friends who had left to do the same. So, in 2009, I became part of a private company protecting the U.S. Ambassador to Iraq, operating out of the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad. I spent 5 years protecting 3 different U.S. Ambassadors and experiencing a wide range of tactical environments and high-stakes political negotiations that took place during that time. I had learned a different side of life, which was very intensive and grueling. There were long days, early planning sessions, and constant training. Numerous political leaders, including the Vice President of the U.S., would visit and attend meetings on several occasions. While I was doing protection for 5 years, I knew it would not be my ultimate job as it was taxing. I spent most of my time confined to a small chunk of land containing the U.S. Embassy and its inhabitants and had little time to explore the world or live with the freedom to do what I wanted. In 2013, I left protection and found a job with the U.S. State Department as a Civil Service employee.

I had been dating a woman who was also working at the U.S. Embassy, and in 2014, we got married. It didn’t take long for that relationship to dissolve for several reasons, but one was my inability to reflect and work on my inner shadows. At this time, I was living alone, in my bachelor pad, with my dog Roxie, my shadow. I was feeling depressed because here I was, a man who came from the pinnacle of the U.S. military, protected numerous U.S. Ambassadors, and held 3 degrees, yet couldn’t make a marriage work. Ultimately, it greatly affected my thoughts of who I was as a strong man, but I didn’t know how to work with this information to create change.

It was 2017, and I had a good friend who was a successful bodybuilder in her own right and who had connected me with a coach because I wanted to compete. She had already been on her self-development journey, creating her own successful online business, and had also been through a divorce, so we had some things in common. As she was on her development path, she would hand me books or ask me to listen to certain podcasts she thought I would enjoy. She continued to pass on wisdom on taking control of your life by introspection and working through shadows. Naturally, coming from an alpha environment and being blue-collar, I thought all of this was nonsense and refused to read or listen to these people who had no relation to what life I had grown up through, nor could it compare to what I had seen or done. I was heavily stuck in my ego and couldn’t fathom taking advice from people I believed couldn’t stand up to what I had done at that point in life. But one day, one of the books she gave me was staring at me on my kitchen table. It had been there for months, but I was called to pick it up that day for some reason. It was Excuses Be Gone! by Dr. Wayne Dyer. While his background was not similar to mine, I resonated with the book because of the straightforward approach in which he wrote and called out my inability to take responsibility in life. The things I thought were strengths were protecting insecurities (which I didn’t believe I had) and disabling my growth. And right here was the turning point.

I took that first personal development book and turned that into many books, podcasts, and articles that I would read over the years on how to develop as an adult and, most importantly, read a ton on masculinity. Why? Once I realized I needed to work on myself, I realized that there are many blue-collar and alpha men out there who also need this information. Yet, if they were like me, there weren’t many men or women out there who could resonate with them and propel them to listen and shift their lives. So, I took it upon myself to uncover not only personal development strategies and techniques but also to understand the framework around masculinity and what had been studied socially and psychologically and cross-reference that with what I had experienced to create an effective way to help today’s, everyday man.

After doing that for over a year, I came out with the critically acclaimed podcast The Art of Masculinity (now with almost 400 episodes), began coaching men to improve their lives and reach peak performance, authored the book Design the Man Within, and have hosted numerous retreats ranging from Kodiak, AK to Corpus Christi, TX giving men an exhilarating experience while integrating personal development and introspection. I am constantly featured on podcasts, in the news, and in online articles, speaking on the subject and giving insight into the challenges and way through those challenges for men from all walks of life. It took me to be at my depths of despair to realize that there was another way, and it had always existed inside me.

Let’s dig deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall, and if not, what challenges have you had to overcome?
It was not a smooth road. From being heavily tested to achieve success in special operations to experiencing the loss of two men in my platoon to suffering the psychological perceived failure as a man through a divorce, the road has been bumpy. The main struggle for my development was the realization that everything that had happened, good or bad, was on me. Regardless of what I had done in the past, I had to look at the man in the mirror and say I created my current environment. Any unhappiness or struggle I was facing was due to my inability to question my thoughts and perceptions. When I realized this, it was another tough pill to swallow. One reason was that I had spent a decade looking for the worst to happen and planning for it. But in life, if you live that way, you only get the worst because your perception is fixed around it. All the negativity and struggle were created in my life because that was all I ever saw; that is all my mind, energy, and emotions ever experienced. If I wanted something different, I had to come to terms with the fact that that mindset needed to change, and that meant, to a certain extent, I had to let the Ranger in me die for a while. When you have to release something like that, which has not only kept you alive but allowed you to succeed in life up to that point, it is like you are allowing yourself to die in a way. You have to figure out what that rebirth looks like, or you fall into the depths of despair, and most men fall into debilitating vices and never recover.

Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
My current full-time profession is entrepreneur as of August of this year. I left my Government job to pursue my own business around leadership consulting for companies, keynote speaking, my podcast, and helping men understand how to confront their shadows and improve their lives, and to help women understand men better so that they can create the relationships they desire through learning the unspoken truths behind men.

First, my background sets me apart from other men’s coaches. Usually, people with my background hold the same philosophy that drove them to success in elite careers. Still, few, if any, are performing research on masculinity to understand the everyday man, what he struggles with, and the fact that some of them can’t achieve elite; they just want to stop feeling depressed, downtrodden, and struggling to be happy in life. Another thing that sets me apart is my willingness to have these conversations at in-depth and intellectual levels based on actual research, studies, and literature. Most men want to speak from their experience as men, not through real integration of information coupled with experience; therefore, most of it becomes their opinion of how to live as a strong man.

For women, what sets me apart is there are legitimately no men from my background speaking to them about the thoughts and struggles of men, then actually taking time to give them tools in how to work with their men so that they can influence growth for not only them but also more support for their life and the relationship they crave. I created a process that doesn’t focus on the woman trying to force change or even approach change with him, but rather giving her ways to influence change more subconsciously so that the change becomes the man’s inclination, and it sticks.

For a podcast, again, there aren’t men of my background and education opening up the conversation around masculinity with men from all walks of life. From business moguls to professional athletes to special operations veterans to internationally best-selling authors and more, I open up stories about struggle and perseverance to help men understand that no matter what heights we see people, there is a path there and that you are never alone in your struggle.

I am most proud of the podcast. Making a podcast is difficult; continually showing up and giving content for 5 years has been a ton of work. But I love it because it is an outlet for men, something they can use in their moments of struggle and happiness to learn real tools, hear real stories, see themselves, and be something more in life that allows them to reach fulfillment and happiness.

We’d love to hear about your fond memories from growing up.
One of my favorite memories was being selected as captain for the All-Star Soccer team I tried out for. I had never been declared a captain before and was among my area’s top players selected for this All-Star team. It was cool because I never saw myself as the best or most influential player; I worked hard and was pretty good. It felt great to be that valued by your coaches, and it was cool to have been selected for that.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.johnnyelsasser.com/
• Instagram: johnny.elsasser
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/artofmasculinity
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnny-elsasser-keynote-speaker-and-best-selling-author-b5128979/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbe_BlacSo1BzTvlsEjkdzA

Image Credits
Marcela Rowe