Today we’d like to introduce you to Joel Filmore.
Hi Joel, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.
I am biracial (black/white) and grew up with the white side of my family (and they did not like black people). I was not safe at home nor in the community, as racism was rampant in my tiny, rural Michigan town, so I was constantly under attack physically, sexually, emotionally, or psychologically. The abuse I experienced as a child (sexual/physical/etc.) set me on a path of personal destruction and terrible choices. I started drinking at age 10 to deal with the abuse I experienced daily.
I acted out a lot, and the FBI even once came out to my house when I was 12 to arrest me for mail fraud but only laughed when they realized I was only a kid (they thought I was an adult), but this is a perfect example of how all of the abuse in my life affected me and my development. I was a liar and a thief, I was engaging in sexual relationships with adult men, and I was coming to the realization that I was gay and not just engaging in behavior I had been taught since I was 3 years old.
As you might expect, I moved out on my own at an early age and made incredibly poor choices related to theft, drug usage, etc. I eventually ended up in Grand Rapids briefly, where I discovered Drag and came out. Fast-forward two years and many problems (as you might expect), I moved to Chicago. I eventually became a victim of sex trafficking and was forced into prostitution by a pimp (at this point in my life, I had chosen to live as a woman and started to transition).
After several years, many arrests, and abject addiction, I eventually got away from him. Still, I continued to prostitute because my addiction was now my pimp (I was 24 years old after being a prostitute since I was 21). Fast-forward 6 more years, and I’m a broken shell-of-a-person and tired of turning tricks, so I decide (in my great wisdom) to become a robber, and I stole a woman’s purse. I was caught immediately and arrested. I never fought the charges and was sentenced to three years in prison and served 18 months, as it was a non-violent crime.
Prison changed my life, and it saved me. I had nothing but time to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. For the first time in my life, I felt safe, safe in prison of all places. That should give you an idea of how traumatic my life was. The prison was my first time feeling stable. I began thinking about the future I wanted (if I could stay clean off of drugs), and I realized that I would have to get a college degree if I wanted to convince anyone that I had changed and I knew that I had, so then I just needed to prove it. I applied to college from prison. I applied for financial aid from prison. I not only was accepted to the University of Illinois at Chicago, but I was also able to secure a full grant for my Bachelor’s. I was released from prison in June 2004 and started college in August 2004. During that time, I experienced incredible growth and maturity in numerous ways. This experience made me realize my family had lied to me my entire childhood and, more importantly, I had believed the lies. I was not stupid. I was not worthless. I was not lazy. I had never been loved, encouraged, supported, or protected before.
Fast-forward 10 years later (2014). I walk across the convocation stage of Northern Illinois University, and they say, “Congratulations, Dr. Joel Filmore.”
Today, I am a Professor, a Clinical Therapist (licensed in multiple states: Illinois, Wisconsin, Florida, Vermont, and South Carolina), an Author with two published books, a National and International Speaker, as well as a professional Drag Queen (as a way of giving voice to my feminine since I chose to not transition into a woman but rather live my life in the body I was born). I am happily married and have been with my husband for 18 years. I do online counseling for mental health and wellness. I specialize in Couples Counseling, Anxiety, Depression, Trauma, Queer/Trans Issues, and Multicultural Counseling. My life has taught me anything: Your past does not have to dictate your future. The future you truly deserve requires that you go through the things you suffer to be strong enough to carry the weight of that life. I could not be Dr. Filmore if I had not gone through what I went through, and I am eternally grateful for that. Our pain and suffering are not indications that our life is bad; our pain and suffering indicate that we need to make different choices that are not based on fear.
It wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
The first 34 years of my life were a struggle. After all, I was released from prison when I was 34. And the years since then have been incredible, even the challenging ones, because now I know that my challenges are easily handled and I don’t have to have bad days. I never have bad days anymore; I only have bad moments. And let me be clear, the life I have, I worked for it. It was incredibly difficult earning 3 degrees in 10 years, staying clean off of drugs, staying domiciled, doing well in school, getting licensed, doing my research and writing an entire Dissertation, and then having to defend and pass it all, challenging none impossible.
Let’s switch gears and talk about your work. What should we know?
I am a clinical therapist specializing in fully online clinical counseling, emphasizing Queer and Trans Issues (but not exclusively). I provide therapy for Couples (currently training with the Gottman Institute) and Individuals on anxiety, depression, anger, relationship issues (non-sexual), and Queer/Trans Issues, as well as life transitions and life coaching. I am most proud of my authenticity and transparency as it relates to my brand because I am a unique therapist. I believe that denying your true self, your true desires, as well as your true needs, is the genesis of mental and emotional issues, and so therapy focuses on living your life in a way that is emotionally, verbally, psychologically, and physically (meaning, taking action) authentic. Only through living authentically can one overcome psychological and emotional issues (i.e., thus, why my drag character and life are such a big part of my clinical/professional identity).
What do you like best about our city? What do you like least?
I do love the eclectic people. As someone who grew up in the Midwest and did not travel much, I was prone to the same biases and stereotypes about life “down south” as everybody else (and there are stereotypes). Fortunately for me, after having lived my life, I am not afraid to venture, and what I discovered in South Carolina is some of the most beautiful country and some of the most beautiful people.
I would say the thing I like least is that in the Chicago area, where I’m from, I am seen as progressive and on the cutting edge in terms of my professional identity and how I choose to practice my profession, but that is not necessarily true away from that urban setting. Most therapists, and many people, would frown at my openness about my past and my drag career. People must understand why I brand my professional practice with images of myself in drag.
It goes back to never being accepted as a child and feeling like I had to hide who I was, what I thought, how I felt, and what I wanted, and at this point in my career and life, I don’t want to explain myself to anyone anymore. So, my least favorite thing is people not understanding the ‘why’ behind me or wanting me to ‘hide’ for them to see me as ‘professional.’
Pricing:
- 150- Hour (Cash)
- $0-30 Copay/coinsurance (depending on insurance)
Contact Info:
- Website: www.drmoana.com; www.filmorefoundation.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmoanalotte/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrMoana; https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100087304193090
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmoana
