Today we’d like to introduce you to Jill Dudley.
Hi Jill, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.
Growing up at the Grand Strand, I’ve always loved the beach, the people, and the hustle and bustle of the vibrant and ever changing city. As a child, I spent most of my time on the soccer field and running track and cross country. My sports were my life but I wanted to try something new during my last year of high school. My love for theatre and music began when I auditioned for Socastee Singers, my high schools show choir, and from there I decided to work on my stage presence and my vocal abilities. As a part of the show choir I fell in love with performing arts and when I started college at Coastal Carolina University, I started to audition and perform at the local theatre in Conway, SC. It was my sophomore year of college when I decided to take a leap into the world of pageantry. I had competed in my high schools pageants but never won and this time I wanted a shot at something bigger, The Miss South Carolina Stage. The Miss Teal and Bronze pageant gave a 350 dollar scholarship and as a first gen college student, I needed all the help I could get. As an English Major, all I did was buy books so if I won the pageant, I could pay for the next semesters textbooks. I competed that January in swimsuit, talent, evening gown, and onstage question and it was that pageant when I finally won. I remember thinking how how I could I afford to compete but I got my swimwear from target, my dress from the clearance rack of a local prom store, and I borrowed and wore clothes that I had from years before. I was so overjoyed when they placed the oversized crown on my head because I was a little less in debt and so many friends and family were there to witness my win. From there I would go on to compete for the coveted title of Miss South Carolina. That first year competing I made the top 15 and I won various scholarship awards including one that is closest to my heart, Miss Congeniality. From that first chance at the crown, I was hooked. I would go back the next year and make the top 10 and Miss Congeniality but I knew I had one more shot in me so I went back a third time to Miss South Carolina. And in 2022, that dream became a reality as I was crowned the 85th Miss South Carolina. In my opinion it was never the pristine gowns, the vocal talent, or the perfectly blended makeup that helped me win, but sheer grit and determination. I always wanted to win Miss South Carolina but that year I finally believed that I was good enough to win the title. From there I would start my journey serving the state and preparing to compete at Miss America. But I knew deep down inside that I had a greater calling that needed to be shared. I experienced something horrific after I graduated college in the summer before and I felt that God was putting it on my heart to share it. I asked Him to use me for good and that’s when I decided to become an advocate for victims of sexual assault and domestic violence. I was a victim of sexual assault and it made me feel isolated and fearful. By sharing my story I could show other victims that it was never their fault and they are not alone. From there I created my initiative, Shatter The Cycle: supporting survivors and ending rape culture. Shatter The Cycle focuses on shattering the cycles of violence in our society that create forms of domestic and sexual abuse. As Miss South Carolina, I was able to talk with legislators, law enforcement officers, public figures, and state and national organizations about these issues that have been constantly swept under the rug. I was invited to speak at the National Training Institute Conference for Victims of Violent Crimes and I helped relaunch the #NOTYOURFAULT mission on the Miss America stage alongside the largest anti violence organization, RAINN. Aside from the national achievements, my local community was what kept me motivated to help my state. I learned stories of survival from young girls to older women and even from men. The impact of these forms of violence is far greater than we can imagine. 1 in 6 women will experience rape or attempted rape in their lifetime, 1 in 5 will experience domestic abuse in the lifetime, and every 68 seconds an American is sexually assaulted. These statistics show the prevalence of this issue and I saw first hand in our state and country how these forms of violence affect all generations and backgrounds. As a survivor myself, I wanted to make other survivors feel seen and educate others on prevention strategies as well as break down bias and stereotyping. My favorite memory from my year as Miss South Carolina and as an advocate was speaking at the Walk A Mile in Our Shoes event in Columbia at the state capital where I shared my story on the steps and looked out at hundreds of people from all over the state. I connected with men, women, and children and I was approached by many survivors who shared their struggles but also their successes.
The title of Miss South Carolina forever changed my life and the ability to compete at Miss America was one I’ll always be grateful for. People often think that pageant queens are shallow, stuck up, and all about themselves. But the true reality is, most of us are just trying our best to make the world a better place. And now almost 3 years after my reign as Miss South Carolina, I am still able to make an impact in my community and state as a victim advocate. Just this past May I worked with another non profit, My Own Image, to get the SC House of Representatives and Senate to pass a law to prevent the description of intimate images without one’s consent. The bill passed and is now written into Law, finally making that form of sexual violence a crime in South Carolina. As for Shatter the Cycle, I am still working on ways to get my community involved in abuse prevention and I hope that I can continue to make a difference for survivors everywhere. One day I believe, that together, we can make a change on how we view sexual assault and domestic violence. It starts with one opportunity and someone brave enough to share. I believe that it was the support from the Miss South Carolina Organization, my family and friends, and my faith in God that got me to this point. I am forever grateful and I know that this is just the beginning of a life full of making a difference in the lives of those around me and beyond my current reach. The crown and the sash were just the start but my voice and mind have been the most powerful tools I can use to make an impact. I am forever grateful.
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
I struggled with how people were going to view me after sharing my story. But the majority of people I met and close family and friends fully supported me. Of course there were some who hesitated when I wanted to go public with it but I knew that the impact it would make on others who also felt alone and in fear made me sharing my story worth it. Because of the assault, I suffered mentally and later was diagnosed with PTSD. Luckily for me, during that year but I was able to get professional help and now I manage my symptoms on a daily basis. I think it’s important to know that healing is not linear but we as survivors living with mental setbacks like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, can move past and continue to grow and face challenges.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your work?
I am a certified Victim Advocate through the Center of Legal Studies. I also work in the healthcare field but my passion is my advocacy. I would like to continue to expand my initiative, Shatter the Cycle to reach more South Carolinians all over the state and those beyond on a national level.
Is there anything else you’d like to share with our readers?
I hope you can find inspiration from my story and have open conversations about abuse prevention. I hope that survivors reading this can know that they are not alone and it’s not their fault. I also would like to share a way to speak to your loved ones about sexual assault or domestic abuse if they have experienced it. It’s an acronym called Talk: Thank them for telling you, Ask them how you can help, Listen without Judgment, and Keep Supporting.
Pricing:
- Unsure
Contact Info:
- Instagram: jill_dudley13 and shatterthecycleorg
