Today we’d like to introduce you to Michelle Mark.
Hi Michelle, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
My journey as a birth worker began before I knew what the role of a doula was as I’ve always had a servants heart. I started out as a postpartum doula and that will always be my first love as my mother is a survivor of postpartum depression, anxiety and psychosis. The experience left a lasting impact and strengthened the importance of support during the fourth trimester. Also Having an extensive childcare background and providing nanny care, I was called to mother the mother when pregnancies were announced with the families I worked for. I listened to where I was being lead and it was the best decision I ever made. I started out as a postpartum doula, solely supporting women after birth then I learned about what a sibling doula was and loved its focus around nurturing the soon to be big brothers/sisters so mom and dad can focus on labor, preparing the sibling(s) to be for the newest member of the family & if mom was having their baby at home, what that journey might entail ( age appropriate of course). I was hired as both sibling & postpartum doula by a lovely family welcoming their 5th baby at home. A night and day difference from what I’ve known birth to look like and much different from what the media shows. It was harmonious, family centered, sacred, safe and warm. From that moment on I I knew instantly that I wanted to support women during labor & birth. The support was unwavering and made a profound difference, I was hungry for the wisdom. Ive since grown from Postpartum & Sibling Doula to Full Spectrum Doula & Infant care specialist. Full spectrum doulas provide support through the entire spectrum of reproduction- including fertility, pregnancy, loss, birth, postpartum and adoption. Positively impacting communities and improving maternal care is what keeps my heart beating and soul eager to continue the vital work of being a doula.
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
I am extremely privileged to get to do this work but it doesn’t come without struggles. When I first started out I struggled with managing my own personal life and well-being while providing support to clients. My work days are unpredictable and often times outside of typical business hours. Birth work isn’t intended to be done alone as the need for doula support is growing. I was saying no more than yes and I knew a change was needed. Im proud to share that ILWID is now a Doula duo. My partner Rita and I share on call schedules, prenatal visits and consultations. It’s been amazing learning from her, her expertise and experiences. I couldn’t imagine anyone else with me on this journey. Now that I’ve found the balance I’m able to set healthy boundaries to protect my time, emotional energy and my personal life while fostering a healthy and professional relationship with clients. Since establishing these boundaries I’ve avoided overextension and burnout so that I can effectively support clients.
Ive also struggled with secondary trauma (vicarious trauma) from witnessing or learning about the traumatic experiences of others, like birth trauma, particularly in hospital settings. It’s also developed by being in proximity to someone who has experienced a difficult birth, postpartum depression or witnessing obstetric violence. I feel this is a result from the empathetic and supportive nature of my role, which leads to emotional and psychological distress. Ive come home from hospital births with symptoms of PTSD, intrusive thoughts, nightmares and have trouble sleeping. Ive even lost motivation for birth work in the past due to this trauma. It’s very real and not talked about nearly enough. Yes theres light and love as a doula but there’s also darkness and there’s no way of knowing ahead of time. Ive grown closer to my mentors who help me unpack births with them, help me co-regulate, validate my feelings and promote self care practices and emotional well-being.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your business?
As a full-spectrum doula I specialize in providing support throughout the entire reproductive journey, which includes various stages of pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum care. My expertise extends beyond the traditional role of a birth doula and encompasses a wider range of experiences including: Pregnancy support by offering guidance and resources during pregnancy, helping clients with questions about prenatal care, nutrition, and overall well-being. Often assisting with creating birth plans and preparing for labor. Labor and Birth Support: providing physical, emotional, and informational support. I help with pain management techniques, assist with positioning, and advocate for the birthing person’s wishes, ensuring a positive birth experience. Postpartum Support: After the baby is born, i continue to provide assistance, including help with infant care, breastfeeding support, and emotional support for new parents. I offer resources for adjusting to parenthood and recovery. Loss and Grief Support:offering support in cases of miscarriage, stillbirth, or other forms of loss. Providing emotional care and help families navigate the grieving process, often offering memorial options or rituals. Advocacy: Advocating for each client, their needs and preferences in a variety of settings, whether in hospitals, birth center or home births, ensuring clients receive respectful and personalized care. The essential approach as a full spectrum doula is trauma informed care. This acknowledges the impact of trauma on individuals and emphasizes creating a safe and supportive environment. I recognize the prevalences of trauma, which can stem from various sources such as past childbirth experiences, sexual violence, medical trauma or systemic injustices. As a survivor myself I understand that these experiences can affect a person’s emotional well-being. Im most proud of the safe and trusting space I’ve established where clients feel comfortable expressing their needs and concerns with me. Being heard is vital as a survivor and honestly, by the time they come to me they’re done with the surface BS song and dance and they know I’m not about the BS either. Im known for feeling things deeply and im a bit feisty in the most loving, empowering, supportive way.
Is there anyone you’d like to thank or give credit to?
Firstly I want to give credit to my family for their unwavering support and being my biggest cheerleaders. When I get the call, so do they. They’ve brought food to me at births sometimes being a few hours away from home and checking in on me while I’m away. That means so much to me! Dating as a birth worker should be an olympic sport but I’m happy to share that I’ve found the one who makes my heart so happy and he gets credit too! From middle of the night calls from clients, on call times, changes in plans- he’s right there supporting me and loving me through the demands of this work that I love so much. Thank you, Honey! Im so incredibly honored to have been mentored by the best of the best! Angela, Amanda, Chloe, Shantel, Alex, Audrey ( I fan girl every time I get to be in the birth space with her), Vanessa ( I fan girl too), Eboni Williams, Ebonie Garnett. If I’ve ever needed anything they’ve been right there to answer the phone, to consult, share wisdom and experiences. Im stronger because of them! Thank you ladies so so much! My clients play a role in my success too! Their testimonials and referrals keep me blessed. Im forever in your debt. I also want to thank the community providers for our continued relationships and resources we share together. Lastly, I want to express my deepest gratitude to my mother, Linda for everything you’ve sacrificed, survived and done for me. You are an incredible woman and although its left a lasting sore, witnessing your strength and resilience during the postpartum period was nothing short of inspiring. I Love you and Im so grateful to have you in my life.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://ilovewhatidoulallc.mypixieset.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ilovewhatidoulallc/?igsh=MXAxY2plN3VocHNxNg%3D%3D&utm_source=qr
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ilovewhatidoulallc
