Today we’d like to introduce you to Christalyn Howard
Hi Christalyn, thanks for joining us today. We’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
For as long as I can remember making sure everyone was “ok” and supporting people during difficult times has always been a passion of mine. Now that I think about it, I guess this was inevitable. As the oldest child in my home, I was responsible for taking care of my younger siblings in the evenings and on the weekends while my mother worked hard to provide for us. Although these responsibilities positioned me as a sister, daughter, and friend who was supportive, dependable, a great listener, and “strong”; I became preoccupied with everyone’s well-being. I once wore the label of “strong” as a badge of honor, however, in the last few years, I’ve learned that this label comes with an unrealistic amount of pressure that no one can manage without eventually falling apart.
I graduated from college with a degree in Social Work. I knew that I wanted to help children who didn’t have the support of dependable family members who loved them; I just wasn’t sure what my “help” would look like. After spending several years as a Child Protective Services worker, and witnessing more families being torn apart. This work made me grateful for the mother I have who could’ve neglected her responsibilities to my siblings and I but she didn’t. I developed a passion for supporting parents who neglected their children. I recognized that many parents experienced trauma during their life that had not been treated. As a result they became adults who weren’t healed mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. This inevitably led to their inability to parent their children in healthy ways. This passion led me to pursue a master’s degree in Mental Health Counseling.
I grew up believing that going to Counseling was something only wealthy people did. I knew that many people in my family and community struggled with managing their anger, their drug and alcohol addictions went untreated, and the feelings of worry and sadness that consumed them were dismissed as something they experienced only because they weren’t praying enough. As I learned more about mental illness and mental health, increasing awareness about the importance of maintaining healthy mental health, in the same way we prioritize our physical/medical health, was the way I wanted to “help”.
In the black community many of us were raised to believe that talking with a mental health professional means that you are either “crazy”, or you lack the faith needed to stop having “bad nerves” or “sad/bad thoughts”. We now know what was actually being experienced were Anxiety and Depression symptoms. Still today these beliefs lead to feelings of shame, and they prevent many black people from participating in counseling. They never learn any helpful strategies to become healthy mentally, and as a result, they suffer silently.
In 2018 when I began my counseling practice, Carolina Counseling Consultants, my mission was to offer counseling services to people who wanted to combine both practical and evidence-based therapeutic interventions with their daily faith practices. Today, my focus is to support women who have made the decision to use both their faith and the strategies they learn in therapy to get healthy and stay healthy mentally.
I’m sure you wouldn’t say it’s been obstacle-free, but so far would you say the journey has been a fairly smooth road?
The road to my current success has not been easy. In some ways, it still isn’t easy. Before I became a Licensed Professional Counselor, I lacked the confidence I needed to take the state licensing exam so I prolonged taking the test for as long as I could. I am grateful for my loving husband, a good friend, and a former supervisor at an agency I worked for. They supported me and encouraged me as I prepared for the examination. Even after failing the exam on two separate occasions, my husband didn’t let me quit on myself. After meeting the woman who would later become one of my counseling supervisors, I learned a more effective way of studying, and I finally passed the exam.
Struggling with low self-confidence is something that many entrepreneurs silently fight with for various reasons. For me, I know that not passing the state exam back then helped to chip away at my self-confidence. I’ve learned it’s important for me to be intentional about how I take care of the part of me that’s afraid of failing, so I made the decision to redefine what success looks like for me. Becoming an entrepreneur is challenging in so many ways, but I’ve learned that doing things (even while afraid) is part of what’s going to help me continue to grow my business to higher levels.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your business?
I provide counseling to women who have mastered the art of pretending that they are “ok” while they silently suffer from overwhelming sadness, worry, and stress. I help them overcome their fear of abandonment, judgment, and rejection that has led them to live their life trying to be perfect and please everyone.
I also offer a 6-week virtual mental wellness support group called Beyond Her Roles. This group is for women who’ve become so consumed with managing the responsibilities that come with their roles, they’ve forgotten how to take care of themselves.
My client’s learn practical strategies for making their mental, emotional, physical, social, and spiritual health a priority in the same way they prioritize the needs of the important people in their life.
I am most proud of my ability to connect with people so that they experience the freedom and strength that comes from being vulnerable.
Do you have any advice for those just starting out?
- Create a healthy circle of support and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
- Network and build relationships with people whose business practices and values you admire (not envy). Ask questions and allow them to pour into you.
- Talk to yourself the same way you would talk to someone you care about.
- Don’t spend all of your time working. Add yourself to your to-do list and do something relaxing or fun.
- There are two ways to build courage and confidence: pray AND do the thing that you are afraid to do… whatever “it” is. If the fear is keeping you from moving forward, pushing through your fear can be the very thing that takes you to the next level in your business.
Contact Info:
- Email: info@carolinacounselingconsultants.com
- Website: https://carolinacounselingconsultants.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinacounseling/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CarolinaCounselingConsultants/
Image Credits
Mom Plus Photography
