Today we’d like to introduce you to Tuck Self.
Tuck, we appreciate you taking the time to share your story with us today. Where does your story begin?
Born in the 1950s in a small southern town, I was schooled in the rules of gentile southern behavior. My mother insisted upon all the social graces. She raised me to be small, quiet, and polite; to stay in my place, act pretty, and speak when spoken to. Never was I to speak my truth, especially around men or other people of authority. Instead, I was taught to nurture the needs of others at the expense of my own freedom and happiness.
Tapping into the innate grace and charm characteristic of southern women, I learned to play the game very early. I became a chameleon, shifting roles from moment to moment. It didn’t matter what I wanted to be: I was what was expected of me, and I was equipped to do it all. I was in awe of my mother, who was like Katie Scarlett O’Hara’s twin sister. I dressed in her clothes, shoes and hats. I daintily drank coffee and smoked my candy cigarettes. I hosted tea parties and bridge clubs just like my mother and her southern sisters. I modeled these southern women of character who were nurturing and subservient, but also strong and powerful from holding families together during the war. With their guidance, I emerged quite successfully as a perfect southern belle.
But by the time I hit my 40s, I was exhausted, and totally confused about my identity.
Was I to ban the bra and make my place in the world, or keep the home fires burning? Was I the Perfect Daughter, the Junior League Socialite, the Career Woman, the Stay‐at‐Home Mom, or The Good Wife? Or was I none of these things? Who was this perfect li’l southern belle with the perfect southern lifestyle? These questions began to stir a part of me that had been silent for years, a part of me that longed to rebel, resist, and push against the world. My inner Rebel Belle began speaking to me— softly at first, but then she began to rumble and roar.
The first step came when, after fifteen years as The Successful Career Woman, I asked my then‐husband for permission to be The Stay‐at‐Home Mom. I decided I was tired of dressing up each day to look successful while entrusting my children to someone else’s care. After all, that wasn’t how my southern role models had done it.
Permission was granted, and I immersed myself in the country club scene, the social clubs, and the church groups. I car‐pooled my children to dance, scouts, baseball and soccer, just like my southern role models. I was free to live my Perfect Southern Life, and I thought I had it all. But as time went on, I found myself pondering how I dressed, how I decorated my home, how I interacted with my husband. How I was raising my children to live life the way I lived it: racing along in a quest to achieve, possess, and accomplish. And then, one day, I came to a screeching halt and said to myself…
“Oh My God—I’ve finally become my mother!”
I don’t remember being angry or frustrated by my epiphany, simply dumbfounded. I was in a Twilight Zone. I laugh about it now, but in that juicy, surreal moment I asked myself the question which should have been obvious all along: “If I’m not my mother, then who am I?”
That question spurred an internal revolution which liberated my Rebel Belle. That li’l voice I’d squashed and silenced for years suddenly couldn’t wait to break free. For the first time, I unleashed my “rebelicious” spirit, and I gave myself permission to be me—whoever I was.
I reveled in my newfound freedom, learning and exploring. This new person was pretty interesting, I discovered. But one day that freedom took me a little too far. The perfect southern belle who’d always lived by the rules found herself in the middle of a love affair.
I was shocked at myself, and full of guilt. I wanted to die. I started to question my integrity, my spirit, my ability to be a good mother—even my right to be a parent and partner. By southern standards, I had made the biggest mistake of my life. In trying to rediscover myself, I had squandered my freedom. What would I do? Where would I go? Would my family leave me? How would I live? What would everyone think of me? What did I think of me?
This, the most traumatic moment of my life, also became the most transforming moment of my life. I knew I had to be bold, honor my feelings, and tell the truth. I had to take responsibility and move forward. I couldn’t make anyone wrong, not even me. I had to embrace the uncertainty of what was to come, and own my Rebel Belle.
Realizing that I needed support, I enrolled in counseling for the sixth time. My counselor instructed me to purchase a book that set me on a path to personal discovery. For the first time ever, I was introduced to a concept called “life purpose.” It gave me hope and direction, and compelled me to follow my heart, live my purpose, and make my mark on the world, boldly, uniquely and on my terms.
I was learning to embrace uncertainty. I was getting ready to leave my marriage, and I had no idea how I was going to take care of myself. But I knew that if I followed my heart and purpose, expressed my truth, and trusted my inner power, I would be upheld. In my boldest self‐expression yet, I announced my newfound freedom to my now ex‐husband and left twenty years of the perfect southern lifestyle behind. It was scary at first, but I trusted my heart. Children in tow, I set out on my own, firmly believing that, “When mama is happy, everyone is happy.” Owning my power and sharing my truth was a powerful thing. It freed the energy for all of us to heal.
That tumultuous period of my life was where I did my best work. I realize now that there was never anything to push or rebel against, only the opportunity to wake up to my truth and own my Rebel Belle. Today, I have an amazing life, amazing children, and an amazing relationship with my ex‐husband. All of these things were built on the foundations of freedom, truth, and bold self‐expression.
When that nagging li’l voice inside says, “Who do you think you are? You’re selfish. You’ll never make it on your own!” my inner rebel continues to stand true, inspiring me to trust my voice and live on my terms.
Today, as I grab my petticoat ruffles, lift my skirt, and high‐step my way through my fabulous southern life, I embrace my roots and all of the roles I’ve played. I’m one big, bold, “rebelicious” package of all my juicy experiences. I am the child of an alcoholic and a child of divorce. I was raised by a single mom and an absentee dad. I have been rich, and I have been poor. I have been loved by my girlfriends and ostracized by these same girlfriends. I have excelled in team sports and solo sports. I have been married and divorced, and married again to the love of my life. I have been a single mom, and I have been an empty‐nester. I have been a Christian, a Jesus freak, and a child of the Universe. I have been overweight, and I have been anorexic. I have experienced infidelity, and I have experienced the love of a soul mate.
I have worked successfully in the corporate world, and out of my home. I have been an accountant, a personal trainer, a network marketer, and,
finally, a solo business owner and life coach. Now I teach people all over the world Human Design for Career and Business strategy as a certified instructor for the BG5 Institute. New certification programs begin each January. And, I have self-study courses for the foundations of the BG5 system and Human design.
Throughout my years, I have experienced the love and the deaths of a best friend, a boyfriend, parents and recently my husband and soul mate. I am a sister, and a proud mom. And finally… I am a woman loving life, embracing my roles, transforming my fears, and looking for what blows my skirt up. (That’s Southern slang for what rocks my world!)
I’m learning step by step who I am and what I am here to do, and having fun along the way. I’m proud to toot my own horn, and boldly proclaim to the world: I’m a southern belle living a “rebelicious” life—full out, on my terms.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
O”Every time you suppress some part of yourself or allow others to play you small, you are in essence ignoring the owner’s manual your creator gave you and destroying your design.” ~ Oprah Winfrey
On March 11, 1953, I entered the world as what the Human Energy Design System calls an Emotional Manifesting Generator Type. In Human Design Language, this means I was born with enormous potential and passion to express myself, to verbally communicate, and physically manifest through EMOTIONAL self-expression.
Here’s what’s interesting. Now, I entered a family that consisted of Human Design types different to mine (other than my dad). I had a Projector Type mother, and two older Projector Type siblings. Therefore, what I brought into the family was a completely different and unexpected energy dynamic; one that was understood by my father, but totally unfamiliar to my mother and siblings.
As I began to navigate my world and physical surroundings as a baby and child, I was challenged in learning HOW (the ‘appropriate’ way) to express myself, my power and my dynamic, but sometimes obstinate energy. I became frustrated. At times, I even became angry. What I discovered was that my desire to emotionally express myself wasn’t always welcome. My enthusiastic and emotional energy wasn’t always embraced. My way of communicating through sound and movement frequently was met with resistance, it was ignored and sometimes controlled.
Being this Emotional Manifesting Generative Energy Type that I was and not fully understanding my power and impact on others, I rebelled. My emotional expression got louder and louder. In learning to express myself, I discovered along the way how to throw a temper tantrum! OMG, this felt SO good. I was a
pure unbridled emotional flow. THIS for me was pure expression of freedom. I literally got down on the floor and kicked and screamed others into responding to me.
Respond they did. They relieved themselves of my emotional impact by leaving the room, or worse yet, dousing me under an extremely cold shower to get MY attention. This IMMEDIATELY stopped my flow and, imprinted me forever with the belief that it was NOT okay to ‘be’ emotional and in my natural flow.
From this point forward, I began to question my emotions. I questioned EVERYTHING. I questioned my feelings, and my natural desire to verbally express myself. I questioned my desire to move, to vibrate, to sing, to dance and share my emotional spirit and enthusiasm with others. I was told to sit down, be still, and be quiet. I was asked to not talk, be seen or heard, to speak only when spoken to.
I was told many of my behaviors were inappropriate. The most confusing of all, I was told that I really didn’t feel the way of was feeling! When I felt angry, sad, moody or even happy, I was told NOT to feel this way. Out of a state of total confusion, and the intense desire to feel safe and be loved, I began to (try and) hide, stuff and deny my feelings. I bottled my emotions. I learned NOT to be me!
WELL, for anyone who knows me today, stuffing my emotions and my natural desire to be in action when the spirit moves, causes me to bristle. It stifles my freedom. It’s next to impossible.
As this resistance became my reality, I looked for acceptable outlets for expression. I danced, tapped, took jazz and ballet. I swam, played tennis and basketball. I took aerobics, became a personal trainer. I joined anything that allowed me to physically and emotionally express myself. I sang in the shower, church and the school chorus. I did anything I could find to release my verbal and emotional expression passionately, creatively, and enthusiastically and STILL I met with resistance.
I heard words that described me as, “intense, rebellious, loud, moody, obsessive, obstinate, independent, sometimes flighty and even driven”. At times I felt like a cork under water. I was trying so hard to hold back my enormous range of emotions trying NOT to feel. I was shrinking my spirit. I was ‘suppressing a part of myself and allowing others to play me small’.
HAPPY ENDING: In 2003 Human Energy Design entered my life introducing me to the most amazing, catalytic, and personally empowering, freedom producing tool on the planet. I UNPLUGGED! My soul was set FREE. In one initial encounter, I was re-introduced to my personal truth. I was validated. I was inspired. I was reminded and empowered EMOTIONALLY TO BE ME!
I discovered my personal blueprint is an Emotional Manifesting Generator, meaning my authentic genetic capacity is to be in my EMOTIONAL FLOW, to INITIATE and MANIFEST whatever I desire. However, my life STRATEGY in ‘being’ this way requires that I do this ONLY in RESPONSE.
Therefore, when something shows up that I get to respond to, that blows my southern skirt up, I WAIT and then I tune into my gut, and I RESPOND. I RESPOND to what makes me feel good. I RESPOND to what I’m in the mood to do.
So, FINALLY, rather than hiding, denying, stuffing or suppressing my intentions and emotions, rather than forcing things to happen to prove myself worthy or make others happy, I get to RESPOND. I invest my time, talents and energy in doing what I love to do and wait for something to show up that I am compelled to respond to. When I ‘DO’ this, when I ‘BE’ this, I enter the flow of life, and I get to Manifest the flow.
In fact, I AM THE FLOW!
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
I am a Certified Life Development Coach in Communication, a Robbin-Madanes Trained Coach, author, inspirational speaker and workshop facilitator. I am also founder of SELF Empowerment Resources, a transformational coaching and consulting company assisting individuals and organizations with programs and workshops that facilitate personal discovery, development, spiritual growth and authentic living. The foundation of my unique coaching style includes two revolutionary and proprietary assessment systems, The Human Design System and The BG5 System. Both powerfully identify your natural talents, strengths and potential, as well as transforming opportunities for empowering yourself, your life and career. My unique Rebel Belle Philosophy combines these two pathways of knowledge with Empowered Mindful Listening, wisdom and experience, encouraging and inspiring clients to design a life of unlimited possibilities.
I love to share that I am a self-proclaimed ‘personal growth enthusiast’ and master catalyst for change and transformation. For 25+ years I have dedicated myself to personal transformation, as well as seeking tools and methodologies for self-love, empowerment, discovery, mastery and illumination. My passion today is inspiring and empowering individuals to be who they are and consciously transform their conditioning to create lives and careers that soar.
Currently, I am an Instructor and Certified Consultant for the BG5 Business institute, the OFFICIAL SOURCE for the application of The Human Design System for Career and Business. This revolutionary assessment system is THE most effective tool I have ever worked with in over twenty plus years, personally and professionally. This cutting-edge mapping software is unparalleled in identifying individual gifts, skills and talents, providing purpose and direction for life and career, and bringing meaning, fulfillment and financial success.
Each of us has our own individual human imprinting designed from our birth date. It creates our one and only unique energetic blueprint for life. In reflecting on our current time of transitioning, imagine having an Owner’s Manual for knowing and understanding yourself and navigating the choices in life that align you with authentic work that fulfills your potential. My initial introduction to this system was life altering in that for the first time in life, I felt seen, heard and understood. It rocked my soul to the core, so much so, that it has become the foundation of my work and teaching. Today, I am privileged to utilize this system in my work with individuals all over the world as they awaken and own the truth of who they are.
As an instructor for the BG5 Business Institute, and a BG5 and OC16 Certified Consultant with 20 years management experience working with large organizations, small family-owned businesses and non-profit centers, my passion is inspiring environments that focus on authenticity, creativity, performance, productivity, engagement, innovative and sustainable change. I offer individual BG5 Career Design Overviews and Analysis, Personal Management and Leadership Analysis for individuals seeking to be inspired, engaged and financially successful doing work that they love. I offer Team Building, and Small and Large Business Analysis Consultations for companies building purposeful and profitable businesses. BG5businessInstitute.com
At 73 years young, I feel “blessed with a lifetime of experience.” My most profound and heartbreaking loss was the recent passing of my beloved soul mate and husband who was with me for twenty-three years. Although I am learning to adapt to his painful departure and will feel the loss forever, I am comforted that I will always carry him within me. I feel him cheering me on to my next big life adventure.
I’ll close with this hopefully inspiring message, ‘Be who you are. Do what you love, Live with Bold Self-Expression’. In fact, ‘change and transformation are a part of life, and if you can’t navigate change with a little bit of freedom and fun, you might as well stay the frig stuck.’
Do you have any advice for those looking to network or find a mentor?
Have you heard ever the saying, “When the student is ready the teacher will appear. “It has certainly been true in my life. I am a personal growth enthusiast, or what’s humorously referred to as a self-help nerd and personal growth junkie; An individual who willingly PAYS, ad nauseum, for self-improvement, personal growth and self-empowerment books, coaching, workshops and resources.
Now, I’m not an enthusiast because I believe there’s anything wrong with me or I need to be fixed. I’m simply passionate in terms of learning about life and ABOUT ME! I’m passionate about expansion. In fact, I’m emotionally empowered when I discover new aspects of myself. It expands and stimulates my thinking about who I am at the deepest core of my being. It excites me when someone or something challenges my current level of thinking and reality.
I get to overcome certain fears, see and accept a person or situation in a whole new way. I’m jazzed with opportunities to embrace uncertainty, anticipating like a kid on Christmas morning how fabulous my life will unfold as the Universe brings me people, resources and circumstances grander than ANYTHING I could ever have imagined.
What if you could feel inspired and emotionally empowered to break through fears, expand possibilities for your life, live authentically and attract the people, resources and circumstances needed to bring success, prosperity and abundance?
Allow me to share THE resource and tool that I believe is the most powerful personal and professional growth, bold self-expression and MENTORING tool of the 21st century.
The Systems of Human Design and BG5, Human Design for Career and Business.
Human Design is a holistic self-knowledge system that provides a unique perspective on understanding human behavior and purpose. It combines elements from astrology, the I Ching, Kabbalah, the chakra system, and other ancient and current disciplines to create a personalized “energetic blueprint” called a BodyGraph. It supports individuals to understand their unique energy, strengths, and purpose in life, leading to a more fulfilling and authentic existence. Your unique blueprint and design empowers you to be your own Mentor for life and work, and to trust your own inner knowing. It’s like having the ‘keys to the kingdom’.(Everyone has one. It’s figured from your birth info and provides your DNA imprinting for living life).
The Bg5 Career and Business System provide individuals with life and career transforming opportunities. Based on revolutionary and proprietary mapping software, The BG5 Success Code defines a variety of areas that serve the individual in search of a career, as well as business in search of the prefect employees, management, and executive staff to fit their needs.
I am passionate about sharing Human Design and BG5 Career Design information. Utilizing these systems, I feel privileged to introduce my clients to WHO they are, WHAT they are designed to do in life and work, to live authentically and at their zenith. If authenticity, doing what you love and transformation is of interest to you, these powerful tools and the blueprint of your design will celebrate your uniqueness, give you your personal strategy and life code for making choices in life, love and work, that resonate with your heart and soul.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://therebelbelle.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tuck_therebelbelle/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tuck.self/
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tuckself/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/therebelbelle
- Other: https://bg5businessinstitute.com/education-curriculum/bg5-certification
